Recently, a reader was binge-reading the Boredom blog from start to finish. Then they came to my 3-ish month hiatus from the end of June 2019 to mid-October 2019. They messaged with the following comment: I love how you took the gap in 2019 from June to October. Really shows your human. We all run into life."
My response was: wait until you see my 4+ year sabbatical coming up at the beginning of 2020.
All kidding aside, they touched on a principle I've strived to be a core tenant of my leadership style for the past two years. Around two years ago, I shifted organizations within my company and almost tripled the number of people I managed overnight. Not only did I see that large of an increase in people, but I had helped build up my previous area from nothing, so I knew everyone exceptionally well, and vice versa.
In my new organization, I started working with people who might have superficial knowledge of me with meaningful interactions. That means I had to dig deep into figuring out what type of leader I wanted to be and could practically reinvent myself as needed.
I knew I didn't want to be an unapproachable leader. I entered this company as a senior software engineer, earned promotions, and worked my way up. I was once in their shoes and walked the same path as them. I knew a lot of their pains and frustrations. I wanted them to know that and to sense that by how I presented myself and interacted with them. Saying it wasn't enough, I had to live it. An unapproachable leadership style frequently leads to a tone-deaf and ivory-tower dynamic. Maintaining chain of command and leadership hierarchies is possible without sacrificing approachability.
I also didn't want to be overly stoic. That is a common trait I see with older or higher-up leadership styles. Emotions don't exist, and neither do faults or mistakes. I am perfect, and you should be too. No thanks. It's exhausting to maintain that front at all times, and it is also a great morale killer. As the head of any team, the team's culture will likely mimic your own. Showing emotions; disappointment and frustration, excitement and hope, and everything else in between; doesn't weaken the team. Showing weaknesses and mistakes doesn't magnify our faults. Showing our emotions, flaws, and errors allows us to be stronger as individuals or as a team as we address them.
I wanted to be inclusive. Obnoxious and toxic "tech bros" fill the tech industry. However, the tech industry is common; any large community can tend to homogenize. That's not how I want to surround myself. I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood. I have enjoyed having friends from all walks of life. One of the most appealing parts of traveling is to immerse myself as much as possible in local customs, activities, and people. Diversity strengthens us by bringing in all these unique perspectives to ensure we miss nothing.
There were many other traits that I did or didn't want to exhibit, but they all sum up into a single word: authentic.
Robots and AI have yet to take over. We still run things. We all make mistakes, burn out, and have unconscious biases. We are all human. We should embrace this part of ourselves, strengthening us as we acknowledge, analyze, and address our humanity—not just in leadership but in our everyday lives and in all of our social interactions with our colleagues, family, and friends.
If the leader is authentic, those around them will also feel more comfortable dropping the mask and being authentic.
